Nội dung

Bài mẫu viết luận – Essay Sample thi Học Sinh Giỏi Quốc Gia (Số 1)

Bài luận mẫu (Essay Writing) dành cho học sinh thi Học Sinh Giỏi Quốc Gia môn tiếng Anh do mentor nhà Xuân biên soạn và phân tích.

Springboard Education

Trung tâm đầu tiên tại Việt Nam xây dựng chương trình dạy chuyên nghiệp cho kì thi chuyên Anh, HSG tiếng Anh từ cấp địa phương đến cấp Quốc Gia.

Đề bài viết luận 01 - Dành cho HSG Quốc Gia môn tiếng Anh

Write an essay of about 350 words on the following topic.

People should never compare their own lives with those glamorously portrayed on social media; otherwise, they will always feel discontented and inferior.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Trích từ đề HSGQG Tiếng Anh năm 2023-2024

Bài mẫu viết luận tham khảo - Essay Writing Sample

Owing to the popularity boom of social networking platforms, it is not uncommon to come across extravagant profiles of influential personalities. This has subsequently led to a line of thinking where avoiding self comparison to these high-life celebrities is advisable to maintain self-esteem and self-confidence. Such a viewpoint completely aligns with my personal belief and will be elaborated on in the following essay.

 

To elucidate, the act of putting oneself against a person of much greater status and wealth poses two very obvious ramifications. Firstly, it creates a toxic mentality. Considering the glamorous personal profiles boasting their Lamborghinis, over-the-top designer clothes and excessive partying, it is impossible for an average citizen to expect to reach, let alone lead a similar lifestyle. Indeed, often the reason for comparison against these famous names stems from the normal folk wanting to replicate what they deem to be an ideal life. However, the life portrayed on social media is overly materialistic, which manifests into impossible expectations that a meager follower imposes upon themselves. The end result is the dissatisfaction of one’s perfectly reasonable life, leading to severe discontent. Additionally, toxic comparison with online celebrities can also threaten the physical health of delusional fans. One other way glamor is illustrated in the media is by look. More specifically, the online influencers embody cookie-cutter beauty standards of the industry. This is highly impressionable to especially young fans who take it upon themselves to practice unhealthy habits that destroy their natural features or spend exorbitant sums on useless beauty products. Ultimately, the average fan is subject to feeling inferior and insecure about otherwise normal bodily structure.

 

On the other hand, opponents of this viewpoint may equate comparison to the motivation to better oneself. However, while constructive comparison is an incredible motivator, most celebrity media profiles fail to fulfill this role. As mentioned above, media portrayal tends towards materialism and viral imagery and usually neglects the moving backstory of a celebrity’s rise to stardom and wealth. As a result, the images of influential names are relegated to the expensive things they own, instead of their cultural contributions, which impacts fans in a distorted and negative manner. After all, a normal person would likely not think Taylor Swift wastefully using her private jet or Lil Pump endlessly partying as inspiring. As such, glamorous social profiles once again prove to be toxic and unrealistic personal measures.

 

In conclusion, taking the negative effects on health, as well as the twisted image attributed to high-life online names, it is best that comparison to such life of extravaganza be despised.

Phân tích cách sử dụng từ vựng trong bài mẫu viết luận tham khảo HSGQG (Số 01) - Essay Writing Sample

Owing to the popularity boom [=strong rise in publicity/reach: sự tăng trưởng mạnh về độ phổ biến] of social networking platforms, it is not uncommon to come across extravagant profiles [extravagant = excessive/wasteful: hoang phí] of influential personalities [=online influencers – ý chỉ những cá nhân có tầm ảnh hưởng]. This has subsequently [=consequently/as a result: như một hệ quả, dẫn đến] led to a line of thinking where avoiding self comparison to these high-life celebrities [high-life: extravagant life: đời sống cao, xa hoa] is advisable to maintain self-esteem and self-confidence. Such a viewpoint completely aligns with my personal belief [=completely agrees with/ in total agreement with/wholly advocate for: hoàn toàn đồng tình] and will be elaborated on in the following essay.

 

To elucidate [=to elaborate: để phân tích/ làm rõ], the act of putting oneself against [=to put someone into comparison/competition with someone/something else: đem ra so sánh] a person of much greater status and wealth poses two very obvious ramifications [=consequences: hệ quả]. Firstly, it creates a toxic mentality [ý chỉ tâm lý không lành mạnh]. Considering the glamorous personal profiles boasting their Lamborghinis, over-the-top designer clothes and excessive partying, it is impossible for an average citizen to expect to reach, let alone [let alone dùng để chỉ một cái gì đó far less likely xảy ra – trong câu này thì ý là bản thân việc đạt đến mức sống của nhiều celebrity đã khó, chưa nói đến việc duy trì cuộc sống ấy] lead a similar lifestyle. Indeed, [để nhấn mạnh và làm rõ ý trước] often the reason for comparison against these famous names stems from the normal folk wanting to replicate [=recreate/ imitate/ mimic: bắt chước/ bản sao],  what they deem to be an ideal life. However, the life portrayed on social media is overly materialistic [mang tính vật chất], which manifests [= to turn into/ to become: biến thành] into impossible expectations that a meager follower imposes upon themselves. The end result is the dissatisfaction of one’s perfectly reasonable life, leading to severe discontent [severe=serious: nghiêm trọng; discontent=unhappiness/dissatisfaction: sự bất mãn]. Additionally, toxic comparison with online celebrities can also threaten the physical health of delusional fans. One other way glamor is illustrated in the media is by look. More specifically [dùng để giải thích cụ thể hơn một ý], the online influencers embody [=to represent: đại diện] cookie-cutter beauty standards [cookie cutter (idiom) – ý chỉ là nó trở thành 1 cái khuôn mẫu đại trà, bão hòa] of the industry. This is highly impressionable to especially young fans who take it upon themselves [=to voluntarily take the responsibility to do something/ to be pressured into doing something] to practice unhealthy habits that destroy their natural features or spend exorbitant sums [=unreasonably high amount of money: lượng tiền khổng lồ] on useless beauty products. Ultimately [=lastly/ finally – dùng để chốt ý], the average fan is subject to feeling inferior and insecure [kém cỏi, tự ái về bản thân] about otherwise normal bodily structure..

 

On the other hand [=In contrast/However – dùng để introduce ý đối lập, tương phản], opponents of this viewpoint may equate [ý ở đây là đánh đồng] comparison to the motivation to better oneself. However, while constructive comparison [giống constructive criticism – mang tính xây dựng lành mạnh] is an incredible motivator, most celebrity media profiles fail to fulfill this role. As mentioned above, media portrayal [qua con mắt quả mạng xã hội] tends towards materialism and viral imagery [hình ảnh giật gân, gây sốc] usually neglects the moving backstory of a celebrity’s rise to stardom and wealth. As a result, the images of influential names are relegated [=attributed/assigned: quy chung về thứ gì đó] to the expensive things they own, instead of their cultural contributions, which impacts fans in a distorted and negative manner. After all, a normal person would likely not think Taylor Swift wastefully using her private jet or Lil Pump endlessly partying as inspiring. As such, glamorous social profiles once again prove to be toxic and unrealistic personal measures.


In conclusion, taking the negative effects on health, as well as the twisted image attributed to high-life online names, it is best that comparison to such life of extravaganza [nghĩa chay là spectacular performance – ý đây nói về thứ quá xa hoa, out of this world] be despised [=avoided/ disregarded: tẩy chay].

Phân tích cấu trúc bài mẫu viết luận tham khảo HSGQG (Số 01) - Essay Writing Sample

Bài học rút ra từ bài mẫu Essay - bài mẫu viết luận tham khảo HSGQG (Số 01) - Essay Writing Sample

Để đảm bảo bài có độ gắn kết và mạch lạc (coherence & cohesion), các từ nối (linking devices) cần được sử dụng thật tự nhiên và hiệu quả.

Bên cạnh các linking words rõ ràng như firstly, secondly, next, moreover,…, học sinh ở level NEC nên học cách transition các ý/đoạn theo một cách tự nhiên nhất.

 

Tham khảo: IELTS Writing Band Descriptors của mức 9.0 “Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention”

“Considering the glamorous personal profiles boasting their Lamborghinis, over-the-top designer clothes and excessive partying, it is impossible for an average citizen to expect to reach, let alone lead a similar lifestyle. Indeed, often the reason for comparison against these famous names stems from the normal folk wanting to replicate what they deem to be an ideal life.”

Ở câu ‘Considering…lifestyle’, tác giả đưa ra tình trạng người bình thường có xu hướng đi theo lối sống, phong cách của những người có hình ảnh hào nhoáng trên mạng. Ở câu ‘Indeed…life’, tác giả đưa ra lý do vì sao lại có sự so sánh/sự bắt chước đó.

Thay vì sử dụng ‘This is because the normal folk wanting to…’, tác giả nhuần nhuyễn liên kết bằng ‘ Indeed, often the reason for comparison…’. 

Đăng ký nhận tài liệu học tập miễn phí

Trở thành thành viên của group Facebook ngay hôm nay

Messenger
Messenger